February 09, 1997

Hey folks,

I’m in Adelaide Australia right now. The rest of Malaysia went real well. The promoters were not sure how much of an audience I had there so they put me in Hard Rock Cafes. The audience was face to face with the stage. We asked the officials if they had proper security and they said “yeah, the people here are real low key”. I asked if they were sure and they said “yeah, no problem”.

All the shows were way oversold, which had people pushing into the stage. All the tables on the floor were literally splinters by the end of the show, the audience was going ballistic (mmmmm… ballistic). It was bamboozling.

In Singapore I had to stop the show 3 times because the police were bludgeoning people in the front row. I was surprised that they all knew the words and were singing with me as they were getting trounced. Nobody was hurt, by the way. I talked to the government police afterward and told them that I was very concerned with the safety of the kids, the band, and myself and that they can’t be beating people just because they’re screaming and having fun. I was surprised by their response; they apologized and said they would have it under control next time and that they didn’t mean the kids any harm. And then they blew me (just kidding).

If anybody reading this was at any of those Asian, Indonesian and Malaysian concerts, I adore you.

We flew into Perth Australia after Malaysia. This was the first time I had been to Oz in 8 or 9 years and the first time in Perth so I wasn’t sure how it was gonna go. The first odd thing is that we had an entire day off with no travel. The day off was totally incredible, we went to Rottness Island. It was great. Everyone went on a boat to go explore the bays and snorkel, I rented a bicycle to ride around the island.

I came across this beautiful private little beach. The sand was blazing white and the Australian ocean was a crystalline translucent bright blue. Tasted good too. I sat on this exquisite little beach and talked to this extraordinary elderly French woman (about 75). She told me that the island got its name because when they discovered it, it was infested with rat kangaroos (also known as “Quokkas”). Hence the name Rottness Island. These quokkas exist nowhere else in the world except on this little island. She was telling me that they were marsupials just like kangaroos, etc., and the next thing I know, I turn around and here comes one. Very gentle, sort of pathetic looking but endearing at the same time. They are the total cross between a rat and a kangaroo. About the size of a furry cat. They move really slow like they are high on dope and they come right up to you and let you pet them. Very clean etc. When it stands on it’s hind legs and eats, it looks like a little tyrannosaurus with fur. But this little old French lady was so sweet. She just kept going on about all these fascinating facts about these quokkas, and then she blew me on the beach (just kidding again!).

Anyway, I swam out to the boat and snorkeled with everyone. By the time I swam back to the beach, there was nobody there so I fell asleep in the sun naked. I had very heavy sunblock on every part of my body but down under. When I woke I was covered in gummy sand from all the rolling around I did as I slept, and I had a bright red butt and genitals to match. Sort of the opposite of what everyone else gets when they lay in the sun. I then realized it was 4:15 and the last ferry leaves at 4:30 and it was a 22 minute bike ride to the boat. You should have seen me trying to ride my bike and put my clothes on in a panting frenzy against the wind, ouching from the inappropriate sunburn. Ya see what I go through for my fans?

I’ll get back to you soon and don’t forget, I worship you.