Dos & Donts onstage

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guyzif
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Trononguitar wrote:
Pro-string strummer wrote:at one gig i got up there and karate kicked over and over and over REALLY fast and then i hit some kid in the face but i kept doing it fater and faster and the kid died
is this david lee roth???
Or maybe the leadsinger from Edguy? He pulls the same shit as Lee Roth!
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Gastric Sumo
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Pro-string strummer wrote:at one gig i got up there and karate kicked over and over and over REALLY fast and then i hit some kid in the face but i kept doing it fater and faster and the kid died
Don't tell that to Chuck Norris. He might just get jeleous enough to deliver a fatal round house kick to your throat. Nobody kills kids better than Chuck Norris.
Last edited by Gastric Sumo on Thu Feb 09, 2006 11:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Gastric Sumo
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For cryin' out loud! Don't shake you head in disscust when you make a mistake like Eric Johnson does. Then the whole damn crowd knows that you fucked up. Just play it off like you meant to do it. (Eric still rules!)

Oh, and don't wear sweaty bicycleing spandex shorts during a show, and then lift your leg up on the moniter while your playing a solo. The audience does not like to see your balls!
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guyzif
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Gastric Sumo wrote:For cryin' out loud! Don't shake you head in disscust when you make a mistake like Eric Johnson does. Then the whole damn crowd knows that you fucked up. Just play it off like you meant to do it. (Eric still rules!)

Oh, and don't wear sweaty bicycleing spandex shorts during a show, and then lift your leg up on the moniter while your playing a solo. The audience does not like to see your balls!
Iron Maiden anyone?
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Gastric Sumo
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Axl Rose too. Eeeeuww!
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guyzif
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Gastric Sumo wrote:Axl Rose too. Eeeeuww!
Urg! Not a good image!
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Trononguitar
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how about piss yourself like that black i p's broad,...sweat my ass.... :lol:
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guyzif
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Trononguitar wrote:how about piss yourself like that black i p's broad,...sweat my ass.... :lol:
Thats totally grim man, is that TRUE?
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Trononguitar
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u2 wrote:
Seraph wrote:Don'ts on stage?

A good place to start.
huh? :roll:

heed my warnings aspiring rockers, do not under any cicumstance do this...please..

the king of rock and roll .....lol...... what kinda king.....runs around naked...punchin people in the face....cuts himself and bleeds all over the place, then fore the coup de gras....shits on the floor and rolls in it and throws it at the audience....(the monkey king?....ta tat dum ;) )
none other then the scum roker ..gi gi allen..im glad hes gone ,,whata dirtbag slob junkie fuk.
acctualy i had a chance to go see him way back in th early 90s in n.y....i was like no freakin way to that. later i heard it was just as described ....freaken sick sick sick...
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Trononguitar
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guyzif wrote:
Trononguitar wrote:how about piss yourself like that black i p's broad,...sweat my ass.... :lol:
Thats totally grim man, is that TRUE?
you can google that one for more info
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shredlord
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one thing definitely NOT to do is playing an amazing tune on the acoustic guitar, and afterwards tossing it accidently out of it's stand :)

like our good fellow dave weiner did when they played in cologne last year :D
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Gastric Sumo
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Trononguitar wrote:
u2 wrote:
Seraph wrote:Don'ts on stage?

A good place to start.
huh? :roll:

heed my warnings aspiring rockers, do not under any cicumstance do this...please..

the king of rock and roll .....lol...... what kinda king.....runs around naked...punchin people in the face....cuts himself and bleeds all over the place, then fore the coup de gras....shits on the floor and rolls in it and throws it at the audience....(the monkey king?....ta tat dum ;) )
none other then the scum roker ..gi gi allen..im glad hes gone ,,whata dirtbag slob junkie fuk.
acctualy i had a chance to go see him way back in th early 90s in n.y....i was like no freakin way to that. later i heard it was just as described ....freaken sick sick sick...
I saw that video where he came out naked and shit on the floor, licked it, and tossed it into the crowd. The cameraman panned back to what was a packed audience and almost everybody had left and the cops were showing up. Unbelieveable. I can dig it up if anyone wants to see...
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Trononguitar
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Gastric Sumo wrote:
Trononguitar wrote:
u2 wrote: huh? :roll:

heed my warnings aspiring rockers, do not under any cicumstance do this...please..

the king of rock and roll .....lol...... what kinda king.....runs around naked...punchin people in the face....cuts himself and bleeds all over the place, then fore the coup de gras....shits on the floor and rolls in it and throws it at the audience....(the monkey king?....ta tat dum ;) )
none other then the scum roker ..gi gi allen..im glad hes gone ,,whata dirtbag slob junkie fuk.
acctualy i had a chance to go see him way back in th early 90s in n.y....i was like no freakin way to that. later i heard it was just as described ....freaken sick sick sick...
I saw that video where he came out naked and shit on the floor, licked it, and tossed it into the crowd. The cameraman panned back to what was a packed audience and almost everybody had left and the cops were showing up. Unbelieveable. I can dig it up if anyone wants to see...
go ahead but it probaly wont replace the image ive already got in my head of him....could you imagine responding to and add for a guitar player (or any thing else) and winding up in that group

wanted; Punk/hardcore guitarist, lead or rythym, for well established national act with hardcore following
skill doent matter,( cause the shows only go on for about 10 minuets before qwe get shut down), real easy gig.
must be dedicated ,have pro gear and image ,no moral hangups and not squemish about other peoples body fluids.
drug use is encouraged also.
we gig most frequently in new york where we are considerd "art rock". please respond to , the gi gi allen band.

lol....well we know that a few actualy did respond cause he did have a band...lol
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chris_lpp
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Alex Smith wrote:1. Don't rest your foot on the feedback speaker, unless its absolutely necessary because your guitar is so low it is being licked by the flames of Satan.

2. Don't karate kick. [Please, Yngwie, follow my advice. And learn to put something tangible into your solos.]

3. Don't run back, grinning, and back with the bassist during a regular lick. You'll just look stupid. Unless there's a good bass solo, in which you can all run in.

4. Don't do synchronized jumping. Busted do this. Busted suck.

5. Don't get lost under the stage.

6. Don't get trapped in your plastic pod.

7. Alright, the last two I was just kidding.

8. Don't swing your guitar around your head if the other guitarists are dangerously close.

9. Don't smash up your instrument at the end and then realise there's an encore to play.

10. Don't repeat the same physical trick over and over again.

11. Don't die.

12. Don't excrete.

13. Don't kick the bass drum.

14. Don't break wind that smells like someone bent over a feedback amp and shitted on the pedalboard.

15. Don't step in the shit on the pedalboard.

16. Don't WORRY.

:D

1. Dont be NERVOUS!!!!!

2. Do have CONfIDENCE

3. Don't smile

4. Don't to pansy kicks like YNgwie, seriously.

5. Don't listen to me

6. Laugh at people who through stuff at you :D :arrow: :shock: :cry:

7. Shred your ass off for no reason once but not in a song

8. Do not start shaking while playing it fux up your playing

9. And trust me you do not want to die while on stage. :?

Oh yea and dont step in the shit on the pedal board, hate that stuff
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chris_lpp
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Pro-string strummer wrote:at one gig i got up there and karate kicked over and over and over REALLY fast and then i hit some kid in the face but i kept doing it fater and faster and the kid died
ah yea.....biatch i hate it when that happens
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